Break Through Blocks to Dating with Confidence, Courage, and ConnectionMar 02, 2023
Each month, we select one of our Impact Tribe members to be our “Daring Member of the Month.” If you are a single woman looking for love, you’re going to want to stay tuned for this conversation! Therapist and Dating Coach for Single Women, Molly Lyda helps women date “from the inside out” without diminishing who they are.
Today, Molly and I will be discussing:
- Create a clear mindset to ignite your dating journey and magnetize your man
- Transform old stories blocking your dating potential so you’re open and available for relationship-ready men
- Build your confidence to say YES to new dating opportunities
Meet Molly Lyda
Molly Lyda, MA, Therapist and Dating Coach, specializes in supporting women in Doing Dating Differently and creating lives and relationships they love.
Over the last 10 years, she has led interactive workshops, and spoken at conferences, retreats, and on podcasts and television. Molly helps women date from the inside out with her signature approach, leading them to find the man of their dreams, while staying deeply connected to their own authenticity and vulnerability, all while never diminishing their individuality, success, or accomplishments.
She is currently creating an online course called Get Back Out There: The Quick Start Program For Your New Dating Life that will be launching in 2023. This is in addition to the group she started two years ago, the Women’s Wise Tribe - an online, bi-monthly, complimentary gathering of empowered women who come together to support each other and learn about how to thrive in love, dating, and relationships.
Molly lives in Los Angeles, works virtually with clients around the world and absolutely loves helping women transform their lives.
Q: How did you get into being a dating coach?
From the time she was young, Molly has always been interested in her own personal growth, spiritual growth, and introspection.
Living in LA, she worked in television for a while but ultimately found it unfulfilling. After an impromptu workshop one weekend, she had an “aha” moment that led her to understand how she could help others better themselves, something she was already passionate about, and how to turn that into a viable business idea.
From there, she went back to school to get her Master’s in therapy, and began folding coaching, along with therapy, into her work.
She noticed that through working with women, one of the most common threads she heard time and time again was turmoil in relationships. Eventually, she had more and more people coming to work with her solely for dating, so she shifted that to be her main focus for helping women.
Q: Who do you work with, and what’s the biggest challenge you help them overcome?
Molly specializes in working with women who are single, successful, and have most of their life “together,” yet the relationship piece keeps falling apart. She also sees a lot of women who have divorced or left long-term relationships, who are looking for love again.
One of the main things she notices as a roadblock for women is mindset ideas around “all or nothing.” For example, thinking things like, “this guy was a jerk, so I guess all guys must be jerks.” She also helps women a lot with their confidence and overcoming their internal obstacles to approaching dating.
Something I have noticed through my own work too is that mindset work is the key to any successful beginning. This is exactly why Molly begins work with all clients with a mindset refresh.
Molly notices that people are so used to living in our own bodies and brains day in and day out, so we almost become numb to our own radiance and what makes us special, what our super powers are. She loves to help women recognize what people come to them for, what they’re naturally great at, and the successes they’ve had in any relationship in their life.
Without being too committed to a “list,” Molly helps women approach dating with an open mind and open heart.
Q: What are some things that women can put into practice today to overcome a mindset issue they may be facing?
Working with the law of attraction, Molly guides her clients through creating a narrative of what they would love to experience in a relationship. The more we can get into a feeling state of what we desire, and think of it in present-tense language, then our brain shifts to find ways to make that happen for us.
Q: How do you know if you are on a date with someone who is relationship ready?
To start, we need to understand whether WE are ready. We need to know how to shine our light and attract what we want, when we want it.
Within the first few dates, Molly recommends making sure that your interests and long-term goals are the same. If you want marriage and your date wants something casual, it’s important to know that upfront so you can set proper expectations for yourself, or move on to someone else.
It is also important to notice things like how a partner pursues you, how they treat you and talk to you, how they care for you, whether they are truly interested in you and building something with you. Conversations are a great place to start, but it’s also important to realize the actions that follow those conversations.
Q: How do we differentiate between stories we tell ourselves and present reality?
Whatever our experiences have been in the past, we are carrying them forward into our future experiences.
Molly does an exercise with her clients that begins with past or modeled relationships in their lives. They look at the positive things they witnessed or experienced in relationships, the negative things, and then reflect on the meaning we make out of both the positives and negatives. Actions are one thing, but assessing the meaning we apply to those actions gives us the space to realize the intention behind actions.
From there, she explores the possibility of moving towards neutrality as an effort to create a new narrative and make space for new things.
Q: What would you share with women who are feeling discouraged in dating?
Molly hears this all the time in her work. So many clients come to her saying things like, “there are no good men left!”
The place she recommends starting is with self-reflection. What do you need and want in your life? How are you approaching relationships? From there, you can determine whether you need a dating break, whether you need to loosen up your expectations, or something else.
Also, on dating apps, try switching up some factors! Update a picture, play with geographic location and age, and that may help you to find new people.
All we can do is what is on our side of the street. Instead of stressing about whether he is going to ask you on a second date, wondering whether he likes you, trying to “grip on” to too much too soon, focus on what you can control, what you can change if you want.
Surrender. Let go of the list you’ve made, the expectations you hold, the serious-ness of it all, and just surrender to the experience.
Q: What does daring mean to you?
To Molly, daring means taking an empowered risk, and then showing up for yourself. Decide the action you’re going to take, take that action, and then understand how you are going to show up for yourself regardless of the outcome of that action. Rather than assigning meaning to the outcome of the action, assign meaning to how you took the action.
Q: What are you looking forward to most in your business right now?
Molly is currently building out a new course that can help women get back into dating if they’ve been out of it for a while. Beyond that, she is continuing to nurture her Women’s Wise Tribe every month.
She is also sharing a free resource with us that isn’t posted anywhere else. You can access the guide to radiant dating at this link.
You can learn more about her work and upcoming programs on her website here.
If you want to join Molly and other amazing members in the Impact Tribe, we would love to have you! When you join the Impact Tribe, you get access to a library of biz-booming courses, next-level coaching, and an inspiring, uplifting community of women on a similar path as you. Learn more and join us today at this link.